Two blondes living in Oklahoma
were sitting on a bench talking. One
blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther
away, Florida
or the moon?"
The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo!!! Can you
see
Florida.....?????"
A blonde pushes her BMW into a
gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few
minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, "What's the
story?"
He replies, "Just crap in
the carburetor"
She asks, "How often do I
have to do that?"
A police officer stops a blonde
for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her
license.
She replied in a huff, "I
wish you guys would get your act together.
Just yesterday you take away my
license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"
There' s this blonde out for a
walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the
opposite bank.
"Yoo-hoo!" she shouts,
"How can I get to the other side?"
The second blonde looks up the
river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the
other side."
A highway patrolman pulled
alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was
astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious
to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his
window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled "PULL
OVER!"......
"NO!" the blonde
yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
A Russian, an American, and a
Blonde were talking one day.
The Russian said, "We were
the first in space!"
The American said, "We were
the first on the moon!"
The Blonde said, "So what?
We're going to be the first on the sun!"
The Russian and the American
looked at each other and shook their heads.
"You can't land on the sun,
you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied,
"We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"
A blonde was playing Trivial
Pursuit one night. It was her turn.
She rolled the dice and she
landed on Science & Nature.
Her question was, "If you
are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear
it?"
She thought for a time and then
asked, "Is it on or off?"
A blonde girl was visiting
her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her
what their names were.
The blonde responded by saying
that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Who ever
heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"HELLLOOOOOOO......,"
answered the blonde. "They're watch dogs!"
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