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By
Rob
Cross
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MIRACLE. It’s the missing piece in
love. If you can stay with me long enough on this, you'll
be blessed beyond your comprehension as I share with you
the miraculous changes in my life.
You can literally and easily call
forth a miracle this very day.
I had always worked hard at love. "Relationships
take work" was my belief. I had not a
clue that all the work I was doing to make the
relationship "work" was the very reason it was
falling apart! Specifically, my "controlling" the
flow kept the miracles away. The hard work that I was
wrapped up in was little more than forcing the darn thing
to work! |
Here's what I mean. She came to me
with an upset. I immediately put on my little upset-solving
jumpsuit and did what I do best. What did I do best? WHATEVER IT
TOOK! Holy cow let's just do whatever it takes to get us on the
other side of this upset! Fix it quick, hide from it fast, patch
it good, invalidate or dodge it...whatever it takes! It was my
job to protect her from her own emotions "so she
wouldn't have to feel upset".
Did you hear what I just said? "So she wouldn't have
to feel her own upset". Now I'm sure that you've
said that a time or two. Heck it was my M.O. in life!
Here's the astounding discovery I made. My efforts to
keep things under control were simultaneously keeping Miracles
away!
And
that's what we do. We keep upset from taking place. Why? Why do
we get all excited when our partner is upset? Why is it hard for
most of us to sit still with them in their upset or with
ourselves in our own upset, rather than try and fix it or defend
against it or to slip away from it?
WE
DON'T WANT TO FEEL OUT OF CONTROL. It's scary out there in that
land called "NOT-IN-MY-CONTROL". It's called FAITH.
It
takes a choice of faith to sit with her in her upset and NOT
have to control its outcome. In that tiny moment when I see that
my partner's upset, in that tiny moment when I STOP myself from
running to her rescue (taking her upset as my own) or running to
my rescue (defending against her upset at me)...in that moment
when I refuse to REACT to her upset but
rather choose to ALLOW her to have it ...GLORIOUS
things get set into motion.
Now
I must tell you right here that, if you've spent a lifetime
rescuing your partner from her/his own upset and then suddenly
you stop ...stand back! Sparks will fly. You can't just turn a
barge around right away.
When
I refuse to react to her upset, when I make the choice to BE WITH HER in her own upset (loving
her) while letting her BE upset, she then gets to FACE HER OWN
FEARS. That's right...HER fears.
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And that's GREAT NEWS! Because it's
only in that place where she faces her own issues (they've
been following her all her life) can she then heal
and move past them. And when she heals and moves past
them, guess what won't be back a million more
times to rear its ugly head...her ISSUE! |
When I grow from healing,
that issue no longer "owns me" anymore in
relationships and my life circumstances.
My friends, letting miracles work in your relationship is
more entertaining than any movie I've ever been to! I have spent
most of my adult life keeping my partner stuck (keeping her from
her own growth) by jumping in and claiming her upset and
squashing it. And gosh, all along her upset was only trying to
point the way for her to learn and grow and move forward!
I'm happy to announce that I'm a retired
"fixer" and a very excited miracle watcher! It takes
guts to let go of having to know the outcome. It takes guts to
relinquish control of life that I could never control anyway.
Let go! Let God!
Read more on this: http://www.lifeunclogged.com/linkees/miracle1.html
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