Selfish People Make Better Lovers

Life is indeed a journey back to yourself. It's a process of becoming OK with YOU. And the more OK you become with yourself, it becomes clearer how backwards we've been doing life!

The more OK I become with me, the easier it is to accept who you are. I no longer expect (a polite term for demand) you to be what I need for you to be in order for me to feel OK about myself. I bring my own joy to the relationship. And so therefore when I don't need for you to provide any part of my joy, I am free to just relax and appreciate you...ALL of you rather than just those parts that keep me feeling supported. Otherwise I tend to resist you and what you're doing and saying.

My capacity to love you is directly correlated to my choice to Love myself. And so without my own self-love present, I cannot unconditionally & wholly love you, as my love for you would rely on what you can do for me.

My friends this is HUGE. This has completely revolutionized my experience of love, and so it merits a bit more time spent. I want you to experience the miracles of love!

"Yeah but, if I love myself so much, why do I even need a woman or a man in my life?"

Loving myself SETS ME FREE to love you like I've never loved before. I remember when I got angry at my mate for one thing or another. It really doesn't matter what it was...it was all born from the same turnip patch. It was all from my need for her to do or be something different than she was doing or being. I look back and think, whoa, what an arrogant stance I took! How haughty of me to get angry at her! I may as well have just shouted, "when are you going to start doing your life MY WAY!"

When I'm NOT in love with me,
I’m then spending my entire life trying to make others be in love with me! And then oh boy, in march the demands and expectations and subsequent frustrations and resentment.

"What in tarnation is this jaybird talkin' about, in love with myself? I was taught that it just aint right! It's downright selfish & ugly"!

Here, let's use a different choice of words. How 'bout self-respect. Is that easier to wrap your fingers around? It's all the same...holding yourself as one with high value or utmost respect.

Think about the one person in your life whom you love and respect the most. Not the one you pity or feel obligated to love. I'm talking about the one you want to spend your time with...the one whom you just really admire. I'll betcha that one person projects self-respect, dignity, and an OK-ness with who they are, am I right?

When I love myself, I don't have to hold back on you for fear that you won't like me. My OK-ness with myself literally lessens the importance of how you view me. Make sense? Of course I care about how you view me, but when I'm not unconsciously fearing your view of me, then I'm set free to just let go & BE ME!

Yep, that's a biggy...

WHEN I LOVE ME,
I'M FREE TO BE WHO I AM.

When I provide my own OK-ness, I then don't need for you to provide it for me. And so I don't have to do things (manipulate) to insure that you'll provide it to me...I'm free to BE ME without holding back out of fear. WHOA! This is POWERFUL LIFE STUFF!