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Almost 150 years ago, President Lincoln found it necessary
to hire a private investigator - Mr. Alan Pinkerton. He was
actually the beginning of the Secret Service. Since that
time federal police authority has grown to a large number
of agencies - FBI, CIA, INS, IRS, DEA, BATF, ATF, etc...
Now Congress is considering a proposal for another agency:
The "Federal Air Transportation Airport Security Service."
Can't you see it now? The new agents in their black uniforms
An absent-minded husband thought he had conquered his problem
of trying to remember his wife's birthday and their anniver-
sary. He opened an account with a florist, provided that
florist with the dates and instructions to send flowers to
his wife on these dates along with an appropriate note signed,
"Your loving husband."
His wife was thrilled by this new display of attention and all
went well until one day, some bouquets later, when he came
home, kissed his wife and said off-handedly, "Nice flowers,
honey. Where'd you get them?"
A psychiatrist is doing rounds in his asylum with a couple
of students. They look in on one patient and the psychiatrist
says to his students, "Sometimes this fellow thinks he's a
temptress in a Bizet opera, but today, as you can see from
his goose stepping, he thinks he's the World War II head of
the Nazi Luftwaffe. What condition do you think he's
suffering from?"
The first student replies, "Is he a paranoid schizophrenic
with a multiple personality disorder?"
The second student says, "No, I think he just doesn't know
whether he's Carmen or Goering."
In an American history discussion group, the professor was
trying to explain how society's ideal of beauty changes with
time. "For example, he said, "take the 1921 Miss America.
She stood five feet, one inch tall, weighed 108 pounds and
had measurements of 30-25-32. How do you think she'd do in
today's version of the contest?"
The class fell silent for a moment. Then one student piped
up, "Not very well."
"Why is that?" Asked the professor.
"For one thing," the student pointed out, "She'd be about
a hundred years old."
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