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Submitted by Marle Creer
1. Sag, you're It.
2. Hide and go pee.
3 . 20 questions shouted into your good ear.
4. Kick the bucket
5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.
6. Musical recliners.
7. Simon says something incoherent.
8. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy.
1. You sell your home heating
system at a yard sale.
2. You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on
them.
3. You change your underwear after a sneeze.
1. Going bra-less pulls all
the wrinkles out of your face.
2. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you
don't have to go along.
3. Getting a little action means I don't need fiber today.
4. Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.
5. An all-nighter means not getting up to pee!
I signed up for an exercise
class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing.
If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up
in the first place!
When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I
just "chunky dunk."
Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could
simply press 'Ctr Alt Delete' and start all over?
Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you
haven't fallen a sleep yet.
My husband says I never listen to him. At least I think that's
what he said.
Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have
started with something called labor!
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
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