By Gena Smith
Discovering who we are is a very important
developmental milestone. Our self-identity is created by our
internal character, personality and appearance. By knowing
ourselves, we can create inner-peace and a successful life for
ourselves. Everyone views success differently. Some people
view success through religious believes or being in a position
of authority. Others view success as having a family and a
home. Though everyone views success differently, we all want
to be successful in the way we view it. Our self-identity is
also important in relationships because to be able to love and
learn about other people in our lives, we must first learn and
love ourselves. Our self-identity is very important;
therefore, we should learn how the negative influences deter
us from being at peace with ourselves, while also learning how
we can be at peace with our selves.
Advertisers are attempting to mold us to a
standard that will benefit the sale of their advertised
product. At a very young age we start to be overcome with
messages from the media. Yet many people do not realize that
the advertisements are sending us messages other than what to
purchase. Advertisers tell us through images that women should
be passive and silent. By this example, we can see how these
messages would create an internal conflict in a woman that is
flamboyant and outspoken. Americans of all ages, races and
genders are forming a low self-esteem, and obsession with
appearances from an earlier and earlier age. This obsession,
and low-self esteem was partly created by the joining of our
insecurities and the media.
Some people have body images that are
unbalanced and distorted. Our self-perception can have
significant consequences like low self-esteem, depression,
addiction or eating disorders. Unrealistic body fantasies have
become real life goals for a lot of people, which inevitably
causes a body image problem. Certainly a better body image
will also help smoothen ones journey to self-understanding.
I was twelve when my developing sense of
self was harshly interrupted by anorexia. The insecurities of
my body, personality and my potential were all rudely
empowered by beauty magazines and my social environment. I
given up the quest for fulfillment and decided it was much
smarter to ignore my body and its needs because of its
vulnerability. Writing helped me through this struggle;
however advertisement is aided in my belief that dieting could
make me into the Medias standard of a perfect woman.
Young people face the additional challenge
of peer-pressure complicating their journey to
self-understanding. Peer pressure can be defined as a
motivation to look and act in a particular way, yet pays off
through acceptance. Most teens have a sense of commitment to
their friends. Because of this sense of commitment and their
desire for acceptance, they often choose to change themselves.
Pre-teens and teenagers, disown the parts of their
personality, and self-expression which are not acceptable to
others and send thus their shadow is often created. The parts
of ourselves we send away because of our desire for
acceptance, do not go away. These parts form a shadow, which
we must work with at a later time in our lives. Adolescents
feel the need to measure themselves up to the accomplishments
of others, which also causes pressure. Girls are socialized
into believing that they must have unrealistic proportions for
acceptance. Boys are socialized into believing that if they
want to be a man, then they must remain tough. This kind of
constant pressure is enough to make anyone feel vulnerable and
not accept parts of their being.
Parents have a strong impact on
self-identity because of the messages they send to their
children. For example, some children grow up in a family of
doctors; therefore, they feel to be praised and accepted as
their family, they must also be in the medical field. In the
same way often boys are not allowed to play contact sports
because of the physical risks. Children are unable to excel in
life because of their families influences to eliminate risks
and to keep their children from straying too far from their
believe system, no matter how limiting to the child. Others
grow up without a foundation at all for their self-identity to
flourish.
It is important to learn about the negative
influences that surround our developing sense of self. It
remains equally as important as contributing to the solutions
that will protect our younger generation and ourselves.
Everyday we have opportunities to build bridges to a
successful future and to be at peace with ourselves. First, we
can limit our amount of television viewing and beauty magazine
purchasing until we have a greater amount of media literacy
and self-knowledge. We can check books out at our local
library about the media and developing our self-understanding.
We can take a course on challenging images at our local
community college.
Now that we know the Medias effects are
more powerful because of our insecurities, we need to take
time to understand ourselves more thoroughly. Through
journaling and meditation, we can learn more about
ourselves-particularly our weaknesses and insecurities. After
we obtain some media literacy and self-understanding, we
should teach our children how to deconstruct the messages in
our environment and those which are produced by the media.
While we are at home with our families, we can talk about the
importance of diversity in the world. When we learn the
importance, respect for different sizes, colors and shapes
will follow. We should all learn how to be less critical and
judgmental, and sometimes this may require working with those
parts of ourselves, which we have sometimes unknowingly stored
away because of un-acceptance. If enough people obtain
inner-peace, we will then have world peace. If we strive for
all of these actions in unity, we will find a successful life,
and our true self-identity, which will always be better that
any identity molded to fit a false ideal.
Gena Smith is the author of What Lies
Beneath, a book of poetry and inspirational reminders. One’s
inner-voice is compromised when not allowed to speak. One’s
true intuition shines forth by maintaining a connection with
self and allowing one to experience one’s feelings. Gena
Smith inspires readers through her personal journey with poems
and collected thoughts, providing a voice of enlightenment,
hope, and inspiration, encouraging readers to connect with
their own inner-voice.
http://www.bbotw.com/description.asp?ISBN=0-7414-3243-9
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