Suzanne Says

Question: I have pondered over writing this and prayed a lot, so I finally said to myself just go ahead and write to you. My wife and I are separated and I want her back so much. I love her so very much. I am trying to reach my wife which is to no avail. I will begin reading your book, Enlightening Cinderella, so we can study it together. My wife is in a weekly study group discussing it. I don’t even know where to start and to keep our personal life personal. I want this marriage to work so badly. At one point my wife got messed up with drugs and finally introduced me to them. We argued a lot, stopped going to church. One thing led to another and she cheated on me and it hurt so badly. I then cheated on her. This is behind us now. I can forgive and move on. I have so many plans, but I want to do them with my wife. She has been an independent woman all her life and is scared to let go to me. I understand and don’t know how to get her to let go and trust in me. I’m not blaming her because I have issues also, but want to work them out with her. I am tired of all this and want to settle down and I want my life to be with her. Please help as I can’t see my life going in any other direction.

My heart goes out to you about your wishes, hopes, and dreams of wanting to have a good relationship with your wife and the uncertainty of your future with her.

I have some thoughts for you to consider, as you are the one writing me. It takes two people to have a relationship, so if you continue a marriage with your wife it will take a commitment from both of you, not just you. I do not know what is in your wife’s mind, but it is a good sign that she wants you to read the same books she is studying.

All each of us can really do is work on ourselves to become a better and better individual. We can continue to develop so we are healthy and strong emotionally, building our inner resources so we can handle all that the current reality gives us, both positive and negative. This means to continue changing our awareness in order to understand ourselves better. It means healing our inner self, building our self-esteem, healing co-dependency issues, doing the inner work necessary to heal limiting patterns, beliefs, and behaviors that are immature and no longer serving us. Much of what I just said is reinforced in Enlightening Cinderella, which you should have by now.

I hope this reminds you to focus on your own healing and let go and let God direct your life. I will lift you and your wife in my prayers and ask for the best future for each of you, whether that is together or apart.